Chapter One
Yumi Hayashi ran down the street panting as she put her long brown hair into pigtails Oh man I have that math test today she was just in front of the Hikaru Academy. She ran up the stairs of the front doors through all the cliques and down the main hall. Im so dead if Im late. She turned a corner almost falling as she did so. AHHH! she suddenly found herself on the floor with a throbbing head. Sorry sorry she looked up. She blinked staring at her collision victim. He was a tall handsome guy with short yet flowing hair and somber looking disposition. He was rubbing his forehead as he looked up at her with a disgruntled expression. He didnt say anything as he got to his feet and walked off without a word to Yumi. Shish talk about rude I said I was sorry. She got to her feet brushing herself off. Oh no! She remembered why she was in such a hurry she took off reaching her classroom around the next corner.
~later~
So Yumi how do you think you did on that test?
Yumi sighed biting into an entire hand full of pocky I dont know Kita she groaned looking up at the ceiling I hate math.
It wouldnt be so bad if you studied more often. She smiled biting into a chocolate covered wafer herself.
Yea yea she waved off Kitas remark with one hand. A group of girls were standing around at the front of the class they were giggling and squeaking like the sheep they were. Yumi looked at them with a piece of pocky between her lips Why are the sheep so riled up this morning? The pocky swayed back in forth in her mouth as she was in thought.
Its the new student exchange thing you know from the South Eastern School. Kita sat neatly in her chair while Yumi propped herself on top of a desk her feet arched on the edge of the windowsill. Theyre all excited because the new boys from that school are supposed to be very handsome and theyre starting classes today.
Yumi shook her head Figures theyre such sheep. There were sudden soft gasps from the group of girls as the door slid open they were all ogling at the one entering the room. It sounds like theyve found their newest target-when she turned around to see the poor pathetic person that would be stalked by the sheep of the school she almost fell off the desk she was sitting on.
Yumi whats the matter? Kita blinked her head titled to the side as she looked at a stunned Yumi.
I ran into that guy this morning Yumi stared at him when he looked at her he just turned away. Yumi turned around with a snort he deserves every ounce of misery they can dish up for him.
Was the run in that bad Yumi? Kita thought Yumis behavior was nothing short of a usual thing, but still she felt the curiosity to ask.
I may of ran into him, but at least I said I was sorry he didnt say anything. She crunched down on her pocky He acted like I meant to do it.
Do you even know who that is Yumi? Yumi shrugged and shook her head. Thats Roka Yamamoto hes the second son born to Masahiko Yamamoto.
Isnt he the man in charge of that big international trading corporation in the East the one that does pocky? She said her finger to her chin thinking of all the new pocky flavors that had just arrived in the candy store this morning.
Yes thats his son you ran into the hall.
Oh no Im so scared of big Mr. Yamamoto over there. He was too much of a jerk to even speak I dont think he has the guts to get up and do something about it anyway. She chewed harder on the last stick of pocky.
A teacher walked into the classroom placing her bag on her desk Students today we have a new student she looked at Roka This is Roka Yamamoto he is from the Eastern school district and he will be joining us for the rest of the year. The other students had already taken their seats Mr. Yamamoto you may take the empty seat beside Ms. Hayashi. Yumi sunk in her seat slightly as he took the seat next to her. She looked at him but he didnt make any eye contact with her at all. She grunted and doodled in the corner of her note book a little devil Roka with an arrow through his head was there when she was finished.
The bell rang for class to go and Yumi and Kita were standing at a vending machine after class. Kita was getting a drink. Its just my luck that Ms. Yamaguchi put him right next to me. Yumi complained.
Its not that bad is it? Its not like he bothers you. Kita didnt understand the big deal.
Well I- oh shoot I forgot my text book you can go on without me today Kita. Yumi pulled her bag over her shoulder.
You sure? Kita asked picking up her drink from the machine.
Yea go ahead Ill see you tomorrow. She walked off back to the class room. Yumi sighed strolling into the class room her hands in the pockets of her jacket tied around her waist. She walked on back to her desk picking up her book. She looked over at Rokas desk with a hint of scowl, but then she noticed something under his desk it was his text book. Hum looks like Mr. C-E-O isnt as together as everyone thinks. She picked it up but when she did something fell out of it. Whats this? she reached down and picked up what looked like a magazine. She opened it. I dont understand she flipped through the pages it was nothing but horses and bunch of tack. Why would someone like Roka have this? She heard footsteps coming down the hall she panic and quickly shoved the magazine back into the text book and then placed the book under the desk. She grabbed up her own book in a rush. Roka entered the room and stopped for a split second when he saw Yumi, but then just kept walking to his desk where he picked up his book. Yumi watched him thinking maybe if she just stood there and stared at him long enough itd be so awkward hed have to say something, but alas her plan didnt work as he fetched up his book and then disappeared back out the door. She groaned uh that guy is so weird.
(tack horse gear)














Devious Comments
Comments
capitalization
High School Academy
It's eithr a high school or an academy, I've never seen both used together.
AHHH
Exclimation point needed.
throbbing head sorry sorry
Puncuation is needed between 'throbbing head' and 'sorry'. Also 'sorry' needs to be capitalized.
pocky is a stick not a wafer
of pocky between her lips why are the sheep so riled up this morning?
'why'' needs capitalization.
Yumi shook her head figures theyre such sheep.
Capitalize 'figures'
pocky he acted like I meant to do it.
capitalize 'he'
note book
one word 'notebook'
Its not that bad is it? Its not like he bothers you. Kita didnt understand the big deal.
I'm not so sure abou using 'the bog deal' in there, it doesn't seem to sit right. Why not use something like, 'the problem'.
(tack horse gear)
you should refrain from using parentheses as much as possible or if it needs explaination put a (1) or * and tell what it means at the end of the chaper or you could have a small glossary at the end of each chapter.
She groaned uh that guy is so weird.
More capitalization needed.
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